primalmommy on wed 15 aug 07
I come from a long line of Jerry-riggers. Some "improvised solutions"
are brilliant, others just a sorry excuse for not having the right tools
or the patience to really fix something the way it deserves.
When my dad and his brother co-owned a cottage, they both admired their
own handiwork as innovative... and rolled their eyes at the sibling's as
"cobbled". Dad's brother is a doctor, and offered at one point to
perform my dad's vasectomy. Having seen his brother's approach to
plumbing jobs, dad wondered aloud whether he'd use hose clamps and duct
tape on this project as well...
Kids and "whoop-ass": Wayne, at my house we have managed to raise three
well behaved and respectful children wihout striking any of them. It
really can be done. We just use time out, "logical consequences" and
other devious forms of psychological torture. Fear of violence is only a
motivator as long as the threat is standing nearby. Learning right from
wrong, and developing good character, lasts a lifetime.
You maybe have forgotten -- grown ups often do -- how very little a
three year old really is. At three kids most kids still have not
mastered the potty; they have only begun to navigate silverware,
sentence structure and self control. It's not incredible that social
niceties aren't quite developed yet in a kid who is still loading his
own pants several times a day -- whether or not parents explain and
remind.
Kids are still dangerously honest and unaffected at that age. "Mommy,
that man is very fat!" is an exclamation of surprise, but likely comes
from a kid who has not yet learned that our society considers thin to be
better. My friend in a wheelchair loved that kids would ask, "Why don't
your legs work?" -- when adults would wonder but say nothing. "It's a
valid question", she said.
People generally understand, if they remember being (or having) little
kids. When my Molly was very small, she noticed a large man in a
restaurant with very black skin, a wide, flat nose and traditionally
African facial features, and said, "Mommy, that man looks like a
gorilla!" I was so embarrassed I wanted to crawl under the table, and
worked hard to distract Molly and hush her, but the man caught my eye
and gave me a wink. I was -- am still - grateful that he had a sense of
humor about it. Anyway Molly loved gorillas more than humans, and
certainly had no intention to be insulting. It's a subtext toddlers
don't have yet.
Once we are grown, we forget what that was like, and think of kids as
little adults... but the learning curve is pretty steep for a new human.
Maybe we regain our compassion if we live long enough to re-experience
the diapers and spoon feeding stage.
If the child in your story really did have a flippant way of speaking
--and not just an unpracticed one -- she can hardly be blamed, as little
kids speak the language of their parents and have few other examples to
imitate. If parents speak rudely, the kids will do the same. Monkey see,
monkey do.
Another decent reason not to hit, IMO. Children learn what they live.
Now -- a question for anyone who knows about photobucket: I made a slide
show of pots. There seem to be plenty of bells-and-whistles options for
dorky fades, music, and so on -- which don't interest me. I just want to
slow down the pace of the slides, which seem to roll through too fast.
Is there a trick, an option button I am not seeing, some magic spell?
Thanks in advance, if somebody can help me out.
Off to bed, to drift off to sleep thinkng of ways to jerry-rig my pug
mill... so rusted out in spots that it is extruding in several
directions at once... mel, I don't need to head for the shoreline to get
specks of iron in MY clay.
Yours
Kelly in Ohio
http://www.primalpotter.com
http://www.primalmommy.com/blog.html
Click for free information on continuing legal education programs.
4jWsaoUPxo7aurj/>
_______________________________________________________________
Get the Free email that has everyone talking at http://www.mail2world.com
Unlimited Email Storage – POP3 – Calendar – SMS – Translator – Much More!
WJ Seidl on thu 16 aug 07
Kelly dear:
I do have to agree with you, to a point.
I managed also to raise a very respectful boy child (now 28 and in his
8th year of marriage)
and I never hit him once. I just used the "get very soft spoken so he
has to strain to hear"
technique. He knew that when dad's voice got very very soft, he was in
VERY deep doo-doo.
His mom, on the other hand, screamed. A lot. I never saw the point.
Time outs did not work with this one, he got his stubborn gene from me .
I did bite him once, gently, when he was about a year old.
He bit me in anger, and then learned the consequences of how it feels.
Never did it again, to anyone.
The point of the rant is that parents (in some cases) are not raising
children these days,
they are raising little animals for whom there are no consequences for
bad action or behavior, no respect for the
rules governing a "polite society". Instead, it's "I can do anything I
want, I'll get away with it."
Gee, why are the prisons full?
Why are 11 year olds toting guns in South Central LA?
Why is the juvenile justice system in most places in the country simply
a revolving door?
Hmmmmm......
Wayne
primalmommy wrote:
>
> Kids and "whoop-ass": Wayne, at my house we have managed to raise three
> well behaved and respectful children wihout striking any of them. It
> really can be done. We just use time out, "logical consequences" and
> other devious forms of psychological torture. Fear of violence is only a
> motivator as long as the threat is standing nearby. Learning right from
> wrong, and developing good character, lasts a lifetime.
> SNIP
>
> Yours
> Kelly in Ohio
>
>
lela martens on thu 16 aug 07
I have to poke my nose in here. Mountain man and I raised
2 sons and a daughter who have been a pleasure for the
most part, all their lives. Now thoughtfull, intelligent, kind adults.
I also used the quiet voice so they had to pay attention to
hear. Curiosity got the best of them.
But Wayne, from what I see, a lot of parents are not raising children
or animals anymore. Many are simply not parenting or raising anybody.
The fashion now is to leave that up to something else. A screen, a
watcher, or a cell phone.
I missed your rant..
Lela
>The point of the rant is that parents (in some cases) are not raising
>children these days,
>they are raising little animals for whom there are no consequences for
>bad action or behavior, no respect for the
>rules governing a "polite society".
_________________________________________________________________
Get Cultured With Arts & Culture Festivals On Live Maps
http://local.live.com/?mkt=en-ca&v=2&cid=A6D6BDB4586E357F!2010&encType=1&style=h&FORM=SERNEP
Bonnie Staffel on fri 17 aug 07
Hi Kelly,
I have been off Clayart for a couple of months but your dilemma with your
rusty pug mill seemed like a use for my fix all, jerry rigged repair
material. If you can wire brush your rusty mill where it seems to be
flaking off, mix up some of East Valley's Epoxy Putty and smear it all over
the metal inside in a thin coat. It wears like iron and has served me well
in various applications. The material is cheap enough and can be spread
through finger manipulations so the entire inside is coated. This material
dries very hard and should hold up to the abrasive effect of clay moving
over the surface. It fixes leaks in water pipes and also molds into forms
if you need to sculpt it for an application.
The secret to a good hard setting is to thoroughly mix with your hands for
the allotted time. I have never used it in your application, but it is a
wondrous material that fixes a lot of things.
It is also great for fixing cracks, can be colored with their color kit to
match an application as well.
I have no financial interest in this company but have been a long time
satisfied user.
Bonnie Staffel
http://webpages.charter.net/bstaffel/
http://vasefinder.com/bstaffelgallery1.html
DVD Throwing with Coils and Slabs
DVD Introduction to Wheel Work
Charter Member Potters Council
| |
|
