Deborah Thuman on tue 19 feb 08
I've often told people that when I don't create, I feel spiritually
constipated. Like Bobbie Fenton and many others on this list, I make
art because I have to.
After reading Bobbie's post, I started wondering why I don't just take
an early retirement and just do art. Because, because, because. Because
I need the benefits. Because I want the extra money in my pension.
Because I'm scared stiff to take that plunge that has no safety net.
Because I do enjoy being a lawyer. Because I make twice as much as my
husband and I'm not willing to give up the lifestyle that goes with our
income level. We spent a lot of time broke because of plant closings,
layoffs, and an economic recovery that never happened in Western New
York. Finally, we're both vested for pensions, we've got good medical
insurance, and we can do things we never could do before - like take a
cruise.
Art is different. I can't not make art. I'd die inside if I didn't make
art. Art takes me to another place, a place where there is no time, no
stress, nothing but whatever it is I'm working on. I get to focus on
one thing and I get to enjoy myself. When I practice law, everything
comes at me at the speed of sound and I have to be thinking of many
things at once. When I do art, my work comes at its own pace - much
slower than the speed of sound.
I recall reading that in persons with post traumatic stress disorder,
there's actual physical damage to a particular area of the brain. That
damage can be healed with the proper stimulation such as learning
something or making art.
And so tonight, I'll work on laying out a mosaic and working on
designing a mezuzah. That should calm the fury from this morning when I
had to be ready for either of two trials and then had to switch gears
when my clients wanted to plead guilty. I work just as hard to prepare
for a trial that ends with a guilty plea before jury selection as I do
when the trial actually happens. I need to heal and calm my brain this
evening.
May you all have healing art experiences today.
Deb
http://debthumansblog.blogspot.com/
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