Kelly Savino on thu 24 dec 09
Surprise, I have an opinion on this one.
For reference: I am not a kid. If I plan to live a hundred years I am damn =
near middle aged. Much of the conversation of my same-age peers now consis=
ts of "organ recitals" (my kidneys this, my lungs that, my heart, my gallbl=
adder, my joints...)
Still, I am wary of anything that sounds like another round of "kids these =
days!" -- whether it's about emails, emoticons, text shorthand, cell phones=
, social manners or society at large.
Look back a bit... remember when people were indignant about answering mach=
ines? "Why can't somebody just wait and talk to me when I get home?" Now th=
e eyerolling is about cell phones... but people who grew up with them won't=
understand nostalgia for rotary dials, private calling venues, phones on a=
curly cord and quarters in a pay phone.
I still know elders who are indignant about the loss of letters exchanged b=
y snail mail (which I still write, receive and enjoy, as well.) Pen pals ar=
e lovely but I don't always have a week to wait for a response. And people =
who grew up with email won't understand notions of "appropriateness" left o=
ver from more formal styles of written communication.
Resisting cultural change is pointless, and can lead to fossilization. Prec=
eding generations have been lamenting slang for a hundred years or more. Yo=
u'd be amazed how much of our standard vocabulary began as slang, or came f=
rom new technology. Language evolves, as do pronunciations and spellings. T=
he slang with which we offended our grandparents' ears has either faded or =
become part of everyday language by now. There's a natural sorting process =
upon which we are not asked to vote individually.
I understand the need for fluency in Standard English. (Note: "standard", n=
ot "proper" -- dismissing cultural, regional and economic dialects as "impr=
oper" smacks of elitism/racism.) My job as a college writing instructor (ev=
en in the days before facebook) was to give everyone the tools to use Stand=
ard English accurately and well, for use in scholarship, the job world, jou=
rnalism, correspondence, and formal social communication where slang and di=
alect are not appropriate.
The way they spoke among friends and family, however, was not mine to judge=
. Honestly, if the other farmers playing horseshoes with my Uncle Bud say, =
"Ain't got no", then for him to say "I haven't any" would not be appropriat=
e. Ditto for inner city ebonics and teen slang. (Why do we feel threatened=
by the way people talk or write to peers? Do social controls really have t=
o reach that far?)
In the early 90's, when I was in the English department grading papers, alr=
eady we were resisting "thru" and "nite" and other fast-food-inspired attem=
pts to streamline cumbersome spellings. Eventually that battle will be lost=
and the new spellings will show up in Webster (and subsequently, my scrabb=
le games.) Once formalized, they will be standard.
Our forefathers managed quite well without standardized spellings, btw. Wh=
y do we feel obligated to old word forms from other languages that were set=
a century ago, and contain a lot of extra letters to boot? At some point, =
future generations will decide that enough is enuf.
The truth is, the world moves faster than it used to. Words carefully quill=
ed in curly letters with pokeberry ink had a charm... but kids have moved f=
rom the inkwell to the ball point to the typewriter to the keyboard and key=
pad in learning to write (with much sentimental, generational handwringing=
at every step.)
As for the sometimes inane content of emails/facebook updates, I have to ad=
mit that I talk to my mom daily, and we rarely discuss current events or an=
ything of real importance. My kids email their 94 year old grandma with com=
plaints about homework and tales of yesterday's ice skating. She doesn't mi=
nd at all. Birds at the feeder, what's for dinner, errands to run... this i=
s the currency of daily connection. It doesn't have to be Headline News. My=
husband and I chat constantly throughout the day, sometimes by cell phone =
when one of us is elsewhere. The communication is the point, not the conten=
t. Greeting cards carry only trite, clicheed rhymes but really say, "I am h=
ere, I care. I think of you."
Friendship -- real and facebook/web based -- is built on shared histories a=
nd daily chat, not just momentous proclamations, useful information and pit=
hy topics for debate.
Unlike in real life, on the web, writers know that anyone who is bored by o=
ur missives can skip them. I would rather delete a clayart post or hide a f=
acebook blatherer than be stuck sitting through dinner with a bore in real =
life. To lament internet inanities and still continue to read them would be=
like wailing that there's nothing on TV and then watching it anyway. It's =
not mandatory. We delete, skip, unfriend, walk away. Just as there are peop=
le IRL who won't take me seriously because I have clay on my jeans or live =
in an unfashionable neighborhood, there are people who will judge my emails=
unworthy because of ;0) or lols. I'm OK with that.
The point is not content, anyway, but rather connection. I play scrabble on=
facebook with my kid who is at a computer in the other end of the house. H=
e texts me from the school bus. It doesn't replace normal human interaction=
, it just extends it. The modern family is scattered all over the place. Ma=
ny don't sit down to meals together any more, and both parents may be worki=
ng outside the home. Kids go off to college. Still, emails, cell phones, te=
xt messages and social networking keep us all connected. Wherever my teens =
are, I can check in at any time. My elderly parents are at my fingertips, a=
nd I am at theirs. Nobody can be stranded, or need help, and have no way to=
reach us. It feels good for a worried mom/daughter.
My kids have their friends and family in a coat pocket, texting them jokes,=
plans and nonsense. Like all kids everywhere, they have their own language=
, inside jokes and culture. We did, and their kids will.. I hope they won't=
be grumpy and humorless about it.
As for emoticons and lols... I refused to use them at first because at the =
time it seemed mostly women did in emails, like a nervous giggle, sounding =
apologetic about ideas and opinions... but it's more widely used now. I thi=
nk we've all noticed that emails can be misread in the absence of faces. S=
arcasm is taken seriously, humor lost, offense taken by accident. I had to =
laugh (not unkindly) at Vince for posting about the careful art of written =
diplomacy, because he's the worst! I love ya, Vince, but for the nicest, fu=
nniest guy, your posts come off reeeally stodgy and stiff. Jekyl in person,=
Hyde in print.
Sometimes "lol" and ;0) are just shorthand for "don't get your undies in a =
bunch, I'm kidding."
I think the thread that runs through all of this is that we have different =
ideas of how formal we should be, in real life or on line. People attend ch=
urch, and fly on airplanes, wearing in blue jeans now. They talk on cell ph=
ones in the produce department, and use slang and shortcuts in email. Nobod=
y wears a hat and tie to the baseball game anymore, either. Life marches fo=
rward (or backward, or sideways.)
Last night I pulled a book at random from a collection of antique books acq=
uired long ago at a farm auction. It was "Enemies of Youth" from 1922, and =
it also lamented the lazy, slang-filled speech of young people.
Chapters detail the degradation of youth as seen in dancing the Tango, the =
Conga, the Rumba and other "negroid and animalistic" dances, which "statist=
ics prove" lead straight to temptation, fallen women, the brothel, ruined l=
ives, suicide and the gates of Hell (in that order.). Movies of the 20s wer=
e apparently already the "Kindergarten of Hell", showing drinking, gunfight=
s, divorce, gambling, and murder. Another chapter calls a deck of playing c=
ards "the devil's Bible", a road to prison, suicide and eternal damnation.
If you were to fast forward through history, you could see this same lament=
reincarnated over every new form of dance, (remember Elvis?) along with "t=
oday's" movies, music and entertainments. Words that were once inexcusably =
offensive have now become common speech, for better or worse, with all the =
shock value worn off. (An elder friend once got her mouth washed out with s=
oap for saying, "jeepers", because it was too close to taking the Lord's na=
me in vain.)
I'm not condoning any of it, but I don't see the point of grousing about it=
, either. I decide what to let into my house and my eyes (and while I can, =
what to let into my childrens' lives) but you can't legislate culture. You =
can preserve the elements you value, choose what's worth your attention, an=
d otherwise ride the wave or be left behind. The same goes for technology. =
My parents call my kids when they need to turn on their TV or stereo, make =
sense of the computer, or access voice mail on the cell phone. Things are m=
oving faster and we'll be the new Amish if we don't keep up.
Yours
Kelly in Ohio ;0) :0} ;0> ;0P
Merry Christmas to those who celebrate...
http://www.primalpotter.com (website)
http://primalmommy.wordpress.com (blog)
Vince Pitelka on thu 24 dec 09
Kelly Savino wrote:
"I had to laugh (not unkindly) at Vince for posting about the careful =3D
art of written diplomacy, because he's the worst! I love ya, Vince, but =3D
for the nicest, funniest guy, your posts come off reeeally stodgy and =3D
stiff. Jekyl in person, Hyde in print."
Dear Clayart -=3D20
OK, with that testimonial from Kelly, whose wise perspective and =3D
judgment I trust implicitly, from now on, I hope that when people in =3D
Clayart-Land read my stodgy, stiff posts, they will imagine a smile on =3D
my face and a playful lilt in my voice. I'll try to imagine that too. =3D2=
0
Thanks Kelly. You are truly a peach.
- Vince
Vince Pitelka
Appalachian Center for Craft
Tennessee Tech University
vpitelka@dtccom.net; wpitelka@tntech.edu
http://iweb.tntech.edu/wpitelka
Lee Love on thu 24 dec 09
On Thu, Dec 24, 2009 at 12:07 PM, Kelly Savino
wrote:
> As for emoticons and lols... I refused to use them at first because at th=
=3D
e time it
>seemed mostly women did in emails, like a nervous giggle
In the early days, when their weren't many women online, mostly
guys used them. I use emoticons partially because it bugs folks who
have corncobs up their butts. :^)
> Merry Christmas to those who celebrate...
I was happily surprised by the gift my oldest son sent me (he
is 34) _Shop Class as Soulcraft_. He wrapped it as a New Year's
present. He asked me if I ever heard of it and I explained that I
have had it on hold since Summer, and right now, I am about 65 in a
list of 157. I not only like it because he knows me enough to
choose a good book as a present for me, but also, because I know he
lives a life that relates to this book. It resonates with educated
folks who came out of blue collar backgrounds. We straddle two
worlds.
Our backgrounds give us different perspectives on our craftwork.
--
Lee, a Mashiko potter in Minneapolis
http://mashikopots.blogspot.com/
"Ta tIr na n-=3DF3g ar chul an tI=3D97tIr dlainn trina ch=3DE9ile"=3D97tha=
t is, "T=3D
he
land of eternal youth is behind the house, a beautiful land fluent
within itself." -- John O'Donohue
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