mel jacobson on thu 15 mar 12
i have had to go through several very nasty
death, disputes with dear friends. same sex partners.
people i care for deeply.
my advice has always been the same.
`get as much paper between you as you can.`
early, can't do it after the fact.
go to a lawyer and get a contract drawn up.
make it air/tight.
think of everything. property, all money, banks and savings, taxes, visits=
,
health and welfare.
do not depend on the government.
do it yourself. get solid legal advice. take that advice.
ask any lawyer, gay break ups are really awful. many will
not touch it. the law is so vague. lawyers are hanging out there
to dry. most would love civil union law enforced.
i won't bore you with details...but, it is/was awful.
the few hundred bucks they refused to spend cost one of them
thousands of dollars..thousands. a solid legal contract would have
cured it all. partnerships at any level need air tight contracts.
i don't care if it business or love, or stuff, dogs or cats.
it does not mean it is perfect, but it sure is a great start.
as i tell all widows, `the are two huge issues...deathemotionloss.
and then there is money. don't mix the two.`
those that listen, win.
mel
a great story.
one of my mother in laws girl friends at 72 found a new man in her
life. love, affection, sex...the total deal.
she was on social security and a great railroad pension from her
dead husband.
she was a noble, moral, clean cut woman. she could not possibly
live with this fellow, or go to bed with him til they were married.
so...they got married.
six months later he took off, may have died, who ever knew...gone.
she was without any money...the pension was gone the day
she married. she was literally screwed.
was marriage right for her?...hell no.
emotional bull crap. she went from very well off to a ward of the state.
misssery. she sat in my living room telling what she was going to do.
i said....`no marriage at your age, get a legal contract.` no no no.
who was right? you can fight for any sort of government law...but,
get a contract first...then add things later if they go into being.
and, joint custody is not always perfect in hetro marriage. things
can get really nasty. life is hard. contracts help.
http://www.visi.com/~melpots/
clayart page below:
http://www.visi.com/~melpots/clayart.html
Nefsigh@AOL.COM on thu 15 mar 12
I concur with Mel. Regardless of "love" I recommend setting up Trusts for
each partner.Each can be trustee for the other and in the event of a
divorce, death etc. all is spelled out and there are no confusions nor
"surprises". All lawyers will handle trust accounts and if your have money=
invested in
land, property, brokerages or just your own stock account, the trust will
establish the exact divisions and as long as they are revocable, changes
can be made as new stuff is added.
Our trust funds cost about 3400 to set up, but now everything is clear,
available in an emergency and removes another emotional hurdle should death
come early. And, no, we have no plans for divorce ( 39th anniv. last weeke=
nd)
but we are set legally.
Good luck to all
Lenny
In a message dated 3/15/2012 4:30:52 P.M. Central Daylight Time,
melpots2@VISI.COM writes:
i have had to go through several very nasty
death, disputes with dear friends. same sex partners.
people i care for deeply.
my advice has always been the same.
`get as much paper between you as you can.`
early, can't do it after the fact.
go to a lawyer and get a contract drawn up.
make it air/tight.
think of everything. property, all money, banks and savings, taxes,
visits,
health and welfare.
do not depend on the government.
do it yourself. get solid legal advice. take that advice.
ask any lawyer, gay break ups are really awful. many will
not touch it. the law is so vague. lawyers are hanging out there
to dry. most would love civil union law enforced.
i won't bore you with details...but, it is/was awful.
the few hundred bucks they refused to spend cost one of them
thousands of dollars..thousands. a solid legal contract would have
cured it all. partnerships at any level need air tight contracts.
i don't care if it business or love, or stuff, dogs or cats.
it does not mean it is perfect, but it sure is a great start.
as i tell all widows, `the are two huge issues...deathemotionloss.
and then there is money. don't mix the two.`
those that listen, win.
mel
a great story.
one of my mother in laws girl friends at 72 found a new man in her
life. love, affection, sex...the total deal.
she was on social security and a great railroad pension from her
dead husband.
she was a noble, moral, clean cut woman. she could not possibly
live with this fellow, or go to bed with him til they were married.
so...they got married.
six months later he took off, may have died, who ever knew...gone.
she was without any money...the pension was gone the day
she married. she was literally screwed.
was marriage right for her?...hell no.
emotional bull crap. she went from very well off to a ward of the state.
misssery. she sat in my living room telling what she was going to do.
i said....`no marriage at your age, get a legal contract.` no no no.
who was right? you can fight for any sort of government law...but,
get a contract first...then add things later if they go into being.
and, joint custody is not always perfect in hetro marriage. things
can get really nasty. life is hard. contracts help.
http://www.visi.com/~melpots/
clayart page below:
http://www.visi.com/~melpots/clayart.html
Birgit Wright on fri 16 mar 12
Its Funny how it seems that every culture around the globe has a form of Ma=
=3D
rriage. =3D20
This whole issue speaks to the idea that marriage is a social contract=3D2C=
=3D
that is should be a secular process first and that it should include pre-nu=
=3D
ptual agreements that are open to renegotiation if there is a will to chang=
=3D
e them. Then if there is a dis-solution of the relationship the facts are =
=3D
clear (though considering human nature that may be wishful thinking.)=3D2C =
fo=3D
r the decision to marry and un-marry tends to rest heavily on emotions=3D2C=
a=3D
nd emotions cloud reason. I support anyone regardless of gender blend=3D2C=
wh=3D
o want to marry=3D2C just pay the lawyer up front=3D2C for a contract=3D2C =
I thi=3D
nk it should be a legal requirement=3D2C especially if there are to be chil=
dr=3D
en=3D2C then it is eyes wide open all the way down the aisle. For that mat=
te=3D
r as soon as a couple is pregnant=3D2C their health provider should have 'D=
oc=3D
uments of Responsibility' for them to file. =3D20
Hmmm=3D2C I wonder if I have experienced and witnessed too many relationshi=
ps=3D
that ended badly for their children. Thankfully they tend to thrive in sp=
=3D
ite of their parents=3D2C mostly.
Thoughtfuly=3D2C Birgit Wright =3D20
> Date: Thu=3D2C 15 Mar 2012 16:30:35 -0500
> From: melpots2@VISI.COM
> Subject: partner issue
> To: Clayart@LSV.CERAMICS.ORG
>=3D20
> i have had to go through several very nasty
> death=3D2C disputes with dear friends. same sex partners.
> people i care for deeply.
>=3D20
> my advice has always been the same.
=3D
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