Michael McDowell on mon 25 may 98
I'm sorry Clayart,
Really I am! It's 1AM here. I should be in bed. Someone should do a post
about Michael, chained to his e-mail software after this. I just can't shake
this image of Tony and Sheila, chained to their wheels. I know them well.
Oh, sorry again, you were thinking of the Clennell's or whatever? I don't
know them at all. They're up in Canada, aren't they? No, we've never met.
Never even e-visited, just eavesdropped on eachother here. Salt of the
earth, I hear! Joyce really likes them, so they've got to be nice. I'd like
to hear from them sometime though. Maybe get a trade going or something. No,
my Tony and Sheila, they don't even have last names. They're not whole
people you see. They've just been dwelling on my mind. I'd say they live in
a town called No Hope, Coinnectedness, USRTHM. Out in the Noosphere
somewhere. Real nice folks too! Salt of the ether. (Are we having fun yet?)
Tony & Sheila (Mine, we're done with the others for now) are exceptional
potters. Keep at it pretty much year round. But in No Hope, the summer
tourist season is the real time to make a killing with pottery. Maybe you've
been there. No Hope in summer? Lot's of folks go there.
Well Tony and Sheila (This is getting confusing for me, what with our own,
let's just say T&S). T&S have a problem this summer, had it last summer too.
Actually this has been going on as long as I remember in No Hope. See, they
can't get ahead. They actually do a significant off season business too, not
like summer of course, but they can't seem to build up enough inventory
ahead of time to really cash in come the warm weather, when it would be nice
to go fishin', ride a bike, visit friends. No, they've got their way to make
in the void. Maintain their little piece of No Hope in the style they're
accustomed to. Which is meager of course, but they've persuaded themselves
this is a good life. Who needs immaterial things. See things are backwards
out there, in Noospace. You thought Canada was backward, uh uh!
T&S only have about a third of the stock they'll need to really make their
killing this summer, as they figure it. So they've virtually chained
themselves to their wheels for the duration. Now in Noospace, virtual chains
is all it takes. This is the "real thing" for them. But these two are lucky,
can't really say why, their Guardian Human has decided to set things
straight for them. That's my cue! This is a little thing I do on the side.
Won't touch it down here on Earth, wouldn't dirty my hands with it in
cyberspace either. Folks there are too touchy, want to find their own way.
Can't say I blame them really, that's how I want it for me here too :-)
Don't want nobody
Tellin' me mah bidness.
Don' come 'round tryin',
Just to see if it's true,
'cause I be a MEAN swamp turtle,
Ah'll snap off yo' shoe!
(Dannon, That's for you, XXX)
But folk out in Noospace seem more tractable. They take direction well. So
this won't take but a moment. Want to listen in?
OK, T&S, front and center! First off with these chains! Now clean this place
up here, not a speck on the floor!
T get out there and get us some flowers. Shit, cut a deal with the local
flower vendor right now! We'll want fresh bouquets all summer! Put one in
each of these nice vases I've place on your wheels (You do do nice work!).
Spread some others around through the space. Leave those retail price tags
on the bouquets dear. We'll be sellin' those and gettin' new. Now we' gonna
need some new signs. "T&S's Summer Studio Sale" looks good over the door.
Here, on the back of the cash register we'll put "All prices marked are 1/3
of actual price" no time left for changing tags. The crowds are virtually at
the edge of town right this moment (And that means something here). OK now
one more sign. Too bad we really don't have time to put a little tag with
this in each pot, but set this easel up near the entrance. Here, I had this
made up special for you guys back home where I come from. You better read it
before the crowds get here. You'll need to know it by heart. OK, now read
after me:
"Our personal vapor clad guarantee"
Every pot is delivered
To your hands from ours
Absolutely brim full with
The finest meaning
We can give.
Remember that all now. I'll be expecting you to stand by that 100%. And
there's no place you can hide from your Guardian Human! All right now just
about done. One last thing, then the pep talk. I spotted these big boxes of
rosebuds back in the back. Bring em out T. Put them here by the door. Quick
now they're coming! S stand over here. Give a rose to each one on their way
in the door. Now for the pep quick "T&S For the rest of the Summer, don't
make pots, make CONTACT!"
Well gang, what did you all think of that? Don't worry about T&S, they'll be
fine now. I may have spoiled their little dream life in No Hope. But
Noospace will always have a place for the salt of the ether. I've done my
good deed for the night. Time to get some sleep...
Happy Memorial Day!
Michael McDowell
Whatcom County, WA USA
http://www2.memes.com/mmpots
mmpots@memes.com
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