Karin Hurt on fri 15 feb 02
A few days ago I added my two cents worth and related my experience from last
year. A poorly packaged mug arriving in shards. My concern was not to
lambaste the artist, but to express regret that a beautifully made piece was
not packaged better, at least that's what I thought I had expressed.
This afternoon I received a HUGE, overly dramatic, overpackaged, parcel from
the person who I exchanged the mug with last year. In the package was a
beautiful mug the person had made, there was also the mug I had sent, as well
as two more items of things that I made and sent last year. I won't repeat
the whole note, nor give a name, but I will mention that the person read my
post on Clayart, as well as the person's (please note I do not mention
gender) last sentence: "Hope not to hear from you again," and signature.
I would like the person to note, that I will not stoop to the same level, nor
send the new mug back, however, I will donate all items contained in the
package to a local charity that feeds our hungry, it should buy a loaf of
bread in any case.
I was or am under the impression that this is a forum where experiences are
shared, good or bad and was under the impression that we react as adults.
Karin
Laughing Bear Pottery
Arizona
potterybydai on fri 15 feb 02
Karin - how awful for you to have had your own generosity (mug and other
items) thrown back in your face! As in the "real" world, there are those on
any list, clayart included, who are not warm, appreciative people, those who
are quick to read "personal insult" in any comment, and immediately lash out
in return. We just don't expect it from fellow potters, do we? I read your
post about the packing, and didn't see anything there at which to take
offense. I thought it was a very diplomatic post. Your "last word" post
shows restraint, refinement and generosity of spirit on your part----kudos
to you!
I would hope that this person has decided not to participate in this year's
exchange; I think such a mean-spirited attitude would surely accompany the
"gift", no matter how beautiful.
Dai in Kelowna, BC
potterybydai@shaw.ca
Life is 10% what happens to you, and 90% how you
respond to it.
potterybydai on sat 16 feb 02
Matt - please accept my apologies at jumping in with both feet in my mouth,
following Karin's "last word" post. I was much too eager to condemn based
on one side of the story, one interpretation of the situation. I should
know better. As I publicly dissed you on the list, I am beholden to also
publicly apologize, so am also sending this post to the list.
On a too-late-for-cautionary note, it may have been a better idea to simply
dispose of Karin's unwanted pieces privately, rather than send them back to
her. Hurt feelings all around. I think we've all experienced, at one time
or other, a slam to our fragile artist's ego ----sometimes it
feels worse than a personal slam! I'm glad you are still eager to
participate in the mug exchange, and I'm also glad you came out in the open
with this, so we don't all feel there's some "unknown potter" lurking
somewhere thinking vengeful thoughts . And I think we ALL now know the
importance of adequate packaging----those mail guys are deadly!
Dai in Kelowna, BC, trying to pry my foot out of my big mouth.
potterybydai@shaw.ca
Life is 10% what happens to you, and 90% how you
respond to it.
Matthew Blumenthal on sat 16 feb 02
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Dear Clayart members,
Well, as this has come onto the list again, I guess I'd best put in a word,
if not in my defence, at least in explanation.
First: My mug did indeed arrive at Karin's in pieces. And I shined on the
task of sending her a new one until last Monday, after reading her missive
to Clayart. I am absolutely guilty on that count. The clay lesson here is
NEVER send a package by the US Post Office without insuring it. I packed
the mug in a large shoebox it is true. The thing was completely filled with
packing material and reinforced with lots of packing tape. I've sent a lot
of single pots out in similar packing and never had a breakage, so I
suspect that the lack of insurance this time was the culprit.
Now to a personal note. I sent Karin's pieces back because reading her
first post left a bad taste in my mouth. I didn't want anything in my house
that reminded me of her. If that is childish, so be it. Had she just
mentioned bad packing, I would not have been stung. The line that got me was:
"I was disappointed.
The sender didn't seem impressed with my dilemma and did not replace it."
The reason that it stung me so was a line from the post in which she said:
"Please don't send another one, I'll save the pieces for a mosaic project down
the road."
Of course, while we are admitting to things, the reason that the whole
thing made me so angry is that I always intended to send her a replacement.
Only the right thing to do in such a case. And I didn't. I really don't
like failing to uphold my own standards. Couldn't give a damn about those
of others.
Karin maintains that she meant no ill by sending the first message. It was
merely cautionary. Why the second? It was hurtful. Well, we all see things
in our own way. In my circles, we are careful with our wording when we put
thing on a public forum. And we communicate directly when there is a
problem. The oblique method of telling the community and waiting for the
information to filter back to the intended recipient is considered bad
form. I guess that is not a universal standard.
So Clayarters, pack well and insure your shipments and hopefully no one
else will go through an experience like this.
And if Andi allows me to participate in the exchange this year you can bet
I will follow my own advice!
At 12:49 AM 2/15/2002 -0500, you wrote:
>A few days ago I added my two cents worth and related my experience from last
>year. A poorly packaged mug arriving in shards. My concern was not to
>lambaste the artist, but to express regret that a beautifully made piece was
>not packaged better, at least that's what I thought I had expressed.
>
>This afternoon I received a HUGE, overly dramatic, overpackaged, parcel from
>the person who I exchanged the mug with last year. In the package was a
>beautiful mug the person had made, there was also the mug I had sent, as well
>as two more items of things that I made and sent last year. I won't repeat
>the whole note, nor give a name, but I will mention that the person read my
>post on Clayart, as well as the person's (please note I do not mention
>gender) last sentence: "Hope not to hear from you again," and signature.
>
>I would like the person to note, that I will not stoop to the same level, nor
>send the new mug back, however, I will donate all items contained in the
>package to a local charity that feeds our hungry, it should buy a loaf of
>bread in any case.
>
>I was or am under the impression that this is a forum where experiences are
>shared, good or bad and was under the impression that we react as adults.
>
>
>Karin
>Laughing Bear Pottery
>Arizona
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Mert & Holly Kilpatrick on sat 16 feb 02
Well, Karin might have been more convinced that the mug would be replaced if
it hadn't taken a year to get around to it! Or am I misunderstanding here?
Aren't we talking about a mug that broke last spring (2001), and hadn't been
replaced yet when Karin wrote to Clayart a week or two ago (2002)?
----- Original Message -----
From: "Matthew Blumenthal"
> First: My mug did indeed arrive at Karin's in pieces. And I shined on the
> task of sending her a new one until last Monday, after reading her missive
> to Clayart.
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