Nikki Simmons on sun 31 mar 02
Wednesday I was glazing pots. I was anxious and realized I was embodying
Art and Fear. I remembered Mel's post. And asked myself, are you going to
be loose or tight--make up your mind. I decided I was going with loose
because tight had already broken two pots.
Wow, the rest of the evening just slipped away-no more broken pots and I
came upstairs smiling. Not normal for me, usually after working in the
studio I am worn or stressed out.
Friday, I am loading the kiln. (Normally takes me forever. I load-unload.
Restack- forget the cone sitter. Bump the side and need to get the vacuum.)
So as I am walking toward the garage I am recalling my experience on
Wednesday. Was I going to be loose or tight. Again I chose loose and went
to work. I only redid one shelf because I ran out of the good kiln posts.
(If I had been tight I would have KNOWN that I did not have enough posts,
but it would have taken me an hour to sort them all. It only took a few
minutes to redo the shelf.)
Again I come in the door smiling. I say to my husband, "I am done!" My
husband asks, "what is wrong?" "nothing, (big giggle) I am just done!" It
took my husband several seconds to register, "you mean you are done, and
nothing went wrong?"
I have noticed that since my time available to spend in the studio in very
precious, I tend to overcompensate, overthink, overkill. I am wanting to
get it all just right so that it gets done. However, nothing seems to get
done--mainly because I can't relax.
Thanks to all for the "Big Purple Mommy" recommendation. I was in the
bookstore for the first time in months and it happened to be one of the very
first books I accidentally saw. It reminds me that my daughter has not been
getting the best of her creative mom. She has been getting the neurotic
perfectionist. This has been a major breakthrough for me. For those of you
out there that don't have much time to make pots--try doing loose or tight.
I can see that it is going to be a big help to me.
Sincerely,
Nikki Simmons
In Central Missouri
nsimmons@mid-mo.net
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