Janet Kaiser on sun 30 mar 03
A bright, young, fresh-out-of-school auditor just joined the IRS, excited
to begin tracking down high-powered offenders-just as the Enron or
WorldCom guys. Anxious for his first high-powered audit, he was a bit
dismayed when his assignment was to audit a Rabbi.
Looking over the books and taxes were pretty straight forward, and the
Rabbi clearly very frugal, so he thought he'd make his day interesting by
having a little fun with the Rabbi.
"Rabbi," he said, "I noticed that you buy a lot of candles."
"Yes," answered the Rabbi.
"Well, Rabbi, what do you do with the candle drippings?" he asked.
"A good question," noted the Rabbi. "We actually save them up and when we
have enough, we send them back to the candle maker. And every now and then,
they send us a free box of candles."
"Oh," replied the auditor somewhat disappointed that his unusual question
actually had a practical answer. So he thought he'd go on, in his obnoxious
way..."Rabbi, what about all these matzo purchases? What do you do with
the crumbs from the matzo?"
"Ah, yes, " replied the Rabbi calmly, "we actually collect up all the
crumbs from the matzo and when we have enough, we send them in a box back
to the manufacturer and every now and then, they send a box of matzo
balls."
"Oh," replied the auditor, thinking hard how to fluster the Rabbi.
"Well, Rabbi," he went on, "what do you do with all the foreskins from the
circumcisions?"
"Yes, here too, we do not waste," answered the Rabbi. "What we do is save
up all the foreskins, and when we have enough we actually send them to the
I.R.S."
"The I.R.S.?," questioned the auditor in disbelief.
"Ahh, yes," replied the Rabbi, " the I.R.S. ...and about once a year, they
send us a little dickhead like you."
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