Lee Burningham (Box Elder High School) on fri 23 may 03
Howdy,
Just a little teacher humor at the end of the year.
Lee Burningham
TEACHER JOB DESCRIPTION!
Perspective : Teaching
After being interviewed by the school administration, the eager teaching
prospect said"Let me see if I've got this right. You want me to go into
that
room with all those kids, and fill their every waking moment with a love
for
learning.
And I'm supposed to instill a sense of pride in their ethnicity, modify
their disruptive behavior, observe them for signs of abuse and even
censor
their t-shirt messages and dress habits.
You want me to wage a war on drugs and sexually transmitted diseases,
check
their backpacks for weapons of mass destruction, and raise their self
esteem.
You want me to teach them patriotism, good citizenship, sportsmanship,
and
fair play, how to register to vote, how to balance a checkbook, and how
to
apply for a job.
I am to check their heads for lice, maintain a safe environment,
recognize
signs of antisocial behavior, offer advice, write letters of
recommendation
for student employment and scholarships, encourage respect for the
cultural
diversity of others, and oh, make sure that I give the girls in my class
fifty percent of my attention.
My contract requires me to work on my own time after school, evenings
and
weekends grading papers.
Also, I must spend my summer vacation at my own expense working toward
advance certification and a Masters degree.
And on my own time you want me to attend committee and faculty meetings,
PTA
meetings, and participate in staff development training.
I am to be a paragon of virtue, larger than life, such that my very
presence
will awe my students into being obedient and respectful of authority.
And I
am to pledge allegiance to family values and this current
administration.
You want me to incorporate technology into the learning experience,
monitor
web sites, and relate personally with each student. That includes
deciding
who might be potentially dangerous and/or liable to commit a crime in
school.
I am to make sure all students pass the mandatory state exams, even
those
who don't come to school regularly or complete any of their assignments.
Plus, I am to make sure that all of the students with handicaps get an
equal
education regardless of the extent of their mental or physical handicap.
And I am to communicate regularly with the parents by letter, telephone,
newsletter and report card.
All of this I am to do with just a piece of chalk, a computer, a few
books,
a bulletin board, a big smile AND on a starting salary that qualifies my
family for food stamps!
You want me to do all of this and yet you expect me NOT TO PRAY?"
_____
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