Lily Krakowski on tue 2 sep 03
Paul. It is extremely hard.
I've seen that you have had some wonderful responses from some wonderful
people --several of whom seem to have time-snatchers I have never known.
But I think--to dip my oar very lightly in the slurry--that the most
important thing right now, for you, is to:
Make a list of things you can stop/cut back on doing.
Review your daily schedule for efficiency.
Confer with family as to what can be delegated
/farmed out.
Assign a time for potting and do not do not allows anyone
to impinge upon it voluntarily.
DO NOT allow ANYONE to "belittle" that time.
To review. You do not need to do certain things. Or they can be done more
efficiently. If brownbagging at your desk allows you to leave work 1/2 hour
earlier than if you go out for lunch....You may not have a cleaning person.
Maybe wife would be as glad as you NOT to vacuum. Having a person come in
to clean may allow both of you a few hours free. Maybe your kids can do
some chores you do now. Your children may accept a neighbor taking them to
swimming team practice. Your children can learn that there is nothing wrong
with helping YOU do what YOU want as much as you help THEM do what THEY
want. A potter I know hired a baby sitter to look after child for a few
hours after kid got out of school. He was not going to babysit.
Above all. DO NOT let anyone--including buddies--dismiss your pottery time
as Paulie's-playing-in-mud-time. Be ready and willing to skip a party, a
barbeque etc because that is your clay time. MD's and MD's spouses work out
a good routine: spouse goes alone/with friend when MD is on call, or working
ER. Nothing interferes more with what one needs to do for oneself than
allowing others to decide what is and is not important in one's life. Maybe
some beer-buddy will dump you. But some claybuddy will love you the better.
Lili Krakowski
Constableville, N.Y.
Be of good courage....
primalmommy on wed 3 sep 03
You have had a lot of good suggestions, so far! i thought i would throw
in a few more.
I don't know how big your kids are. Mine are now 5, 7 and 9 and we
homeschool, so there isn't much time during the day that I don't spend
parenting. But here's what I CAN do:
In summer, I work on a kickwheel on the porch while the kids are
outside, lining up the pots along the rail. Not every day; sometimes it
rains, sometimes I have to can tomatoes or peaches or there are other
jobs more pressing. I line up bisque little by little on the shelves in
my studio, and will pick one available evening to make an easy crock-pot
meal, head out to the studio after dinner, and stay up until the wee
hours glazing the whole lot and loading it into the kiln.
In winter, when it's too expensive to heat the studio unless I have a
full day's work and it's worth firing up the little pot bellied stove
out there, I work inside. When my littlest was littler I emptied out a
little linen closet, stapled a tarp to the floor, just room for me and
my bucket and the wheel (the shelves were already there). When the kids
went to bed and my hubby sat down to a rented movie, I would go to my
closet. I have been doing a lot of handbuilding lately and thatlinen
closet is the place to stash my half finished projects.
This year I think my kids are finally old enough that I can change this
arrangement; I bought an intercom, and rearranged my studio so that
(unless I am glazing) they can do their homeschooling or work on clay or
draw/paint at a table in the studio while I work. Good music, fire
crackling, lots of chatter, sometimes my oldest will read a book aloud
to his sibs. I never bring them out while I'm glazing though. That's
til-after-midnight, listening to jazz on public radio, blissfully
alone... my kids have an ongoing example in their lives that creativity
matters, that everybody makes mistakes in the process of moving forward,
that learning is a lifelong process.
My biggest and best bit of advice -- ignore this if you already follow
it -- is to GIVE UP TELEVISION. Life is too short to spend much of it
sitting on a couch with one's mouth hanging open, watching other people
have interesting lives and interactive families. I shake my head when
people who "don't have time" to read to their kids or pursue their
creativity or (fill inthe blank) spend over an hour a day staring at the
TV. What's more important?
My other big time savers: on some saturdays Jeff and I will get a big
order from our food buying co-op (going to sams would work I suppose,
just don't get me started on wal-mart) and then cook massive batches of
stuff -- chili, calzones, eggplant parmesan in freezer pans, crock pot
meals frozen in a shape that can just be dropped into the crock pot
later. There's a book called "cook once a month" with some recipes and
ideas but i find if you just look at what you eat already and make big
batchers, that works fine. Fajitas, all cooked and ready to microwave
and wrqap in a tortilla. Taco meat. Frozen pesto cubes are on my to-do
list for next weekend: blenders full of pesto poured into muffin tins
(or ice cube trays for smaller families) and then frozen and transferred
to ziploc bags.
There is a corny book called "How to have a 48 hour day" that does a
good job of pointing out all those little time wasters we don't notice,
the same way the Tightwad gazette books point out all the money wasters.
As a homeschooling mom of 3 with a big garden, chickens, studio and
website, teaching clay classes at home and at the guild, and heavily
involved in the local homeschooling organization and volunteering
wherever possible, I think I am busier now than I was before I quit my
job to be home with babies.
Important note: you will not be able to move ahead in clay as quickly as
you would like to, balancing all these other responsibilities. You will
not be sorry that you took time to parent your children. I highly
recommend an annual pilgrimage to a place like Appalachian Center for
Crafts (or some that I have not yet tried, like John Campbell Folk
School, Penland, Haystack, etc.) where you can immerse yourself in clay
with a great workshop, uninterrupted by life, ten hours a day for a
solid week.
Meanwhile, remind yourself that you are moving forward all the time. Try
reading/journaling cameron's "The Artist's Way". Fill your eyes with
images of pots, Ceramics Monthly, PMI, Clay Times, etc. Ask yourself,
"which one appeals to me more?" and then "why?" there is no substitute
for making to teach you how to make, but your taste, your internal
compass, will grow and evolve all the time, whether you are potting or
baking bread or reading ceramic books in bed at night.
Ask the same of your own pots.
Get to know some octegenarian potters. It keeps you from feeling like
there will never be time enough to master the craft.
Keep my mantra in mind: YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL... JUST NOT ALL AT ONCE.
Think like you're magellan loading the boat, not a modern traveller
stepping on the Concorde. The journey will be long and slow, a little at
a time, set back buy weather and other responsibilities and life
events... but the journey will make you a potter. There are no useful
shortcuts. Take the time to learn the skills rather than buying time
saving gadgets or switching to less demanding technologies; it's like
training wheels for your bike. Crash, then crash again, then crash
again. Once you get it you will have it always.
I am lousy at a lot of things, and I am a mediocre potter at best, but I
am improving. I don't expect myself to move forward as fast as some who
have unlimited time in the studio. But I read clayart, I read books, I
learn about pottery beyond my scope and ability. I sketch and plan. I
take a diaper-wipe box of clay and a ziploc bag with a wet washcloth on
the car with me on long drives (passenger seat only of course) and make
stamps and roulettes, miniatures, goddesses, whatever inspires me on
that small scale. Trinkets for the pit fire, maybe.
Good luck to you. Don't fall into the "not enough time" whine. My mom
says "when i look back, the time with little children was just a blink".
Your life stretches out before you, past a lot of the responsibilities
you now have... you may even retire and be able to spend time on clay
the way you dream of.
Yours, kelly in Ohio... planning another artifiction box in my head as i
work on the day's list: elderberry-wild-grape jam, can two bushels of
peaches, pull some fall clothes down from the attic, start preparing to
put my hoop-house back up in the garden, call back half a dozen
homeschoolers needing advice, and come up with a dish for the scout
pot-luck tonight... I'll have a wonderful box planned by the time the
kids turn in.
Kelly Averill Savino
http://www.primalpotter.com
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Elca Branman on wed 3 sep 03
When I read mail from Kelly Savino (AKA Primal Mommy), I always get a
mental picture of those Indian goddess', with ten arms and hands; one arm
canning peaches, one arm holding telephone, one arm comforting child..etc
etc etc, and yes, at least one of those arms are clay
stained.....hmmmm...maybe twenty arms?
Elca Branman
http://www.elcabranman.com
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