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updated sat 3 jan 04


mel jacobson on thu 1 jan 04

i think the best idea yet is to do both.

and, that is what is missing in most homes
here in the old u.s.a.

many want the school, the police, the social
worker, the doctor, and the little team coach
to do everything for their kid.

sorry, it does not work.

what you do around your dinner table, under the hood
of a car, talking about music, and what plays on your
own stereo. that is home school.

when everyone in the family is out making a buck, well
nothing gets taught. the house is empty when kids
get home. what is being taught?...porno on tv.
(and, we know that has nothing to do with sex, it has
to do with filth. how do we teach kids the value of
love and sex when the images come from network
porno, like `friends`, and other sit coms.?)

it is amazing, but three of my grandson's friends call
me `grandpa`. they have spent more time with me
fixin computers, going on field trips and hangin at
my studio then they have ever spent with their own
parents...that make 200,000 bucks a year. sad.
(it makes me cry when a kid says to me...`i wish
you were my dad.`) and, when i get out the welding their collective eyes get huge...they
have never seen a welder. don't even think about
how they get when the kiln is at cone 10.

it is amazing what happens when i pull a computer out
of the plugs and open it up with 5/ 14 year olds hanging
over my shoulders. `hey, can you just pull that thing
out of there?` `yep`, and put in a new one. easy. see how it is done?`
i took a group of 5 of them to the used computer facility
that i deal with, had a tour of about 2,000 used computers
and extra stuff, then the tech talked to them...told them
how he fixes computers. nice day. most of you would
have loved to have been along.

i had the grand kids in the truck the other day, going to
see `lord of the rings three` and i was talking bout peer
pressure...and said to them...`do you understand the power
of `grandpa pressure`...they both smiled....and understood.

we have read all the `harry potter` books, together...we just
pass them around. it is important that i read them too.
a small thing, but important. thomas will call and say...
`what chapter are you reading grandpa.` i will tell him
and he and i talk about what will happen next.
good stuff. of course my joy is that those two kids are
a half mile from me...can bike over., education, learning, teaching...all inter/related.
the first place attitudes, ideas, and learning takes place is
the home. parents. if you give that away to day care, public
school, to someone else...the kid is lost...most often forever.
as i have said about three thousand times...`trust is the key
to education and learning`, break the trust and all learning stops.

i have a dear friend, neighbor that is 68, and she day cares
her grand daughter. she sees it as a duty, and she is
raising that child to be a loving adult. it will work..she will
not fail. everyone else is working 12 hours a day...success.
but, that is hard on her, very hard...many hours a day. never
has a great deal of time for her needs and wants...but that
will end in a year...time for the child to go to school full time.
at least the little girl had a few years to be formed by her
grandmother. there are still a few good ones out there.

in school, home, it does not all starts with mom and
dad, grandparents, the family. it that does not excist, well
nothing is going to happen anyway. for those that do
not have the opportunity to come from a home...there is always
psychologists to help those along...but, then, that rarely works.

Minnetonka, Minnesota, U.S.A.
web site:
or try:

Jan L. Peterson on thu 1 jan 04

I just don't know what to say. We knew more than our teachers did, and some
got kicked out of class for that (doesn't make any difference what the formal
reason was) we were there.
Our parents were either dead (mine) or gone, or drinking. We did well with
older adults, and there we some bikers on the street, and if they chewed us out,
they usually made us stay away awhile, and that counted more than the
parents. But, we had things to do. Paper routes, baseball, football, unorganized, but
there just the same. We hung out downtown. There were a couple of soda shops,
one I used to go to finish a book for a bookreport, since I was not allowed
to read a library book at school.

Parents got up, went to work, or cleaned the house, got meals ready, and we
often at the bar by the time we were out of school. I kept a lot of other kids
from going to the reform school, or being taken from home, by being with them
after curfew. I was underage also, but my family was Bigshot. So, any kid with
me was safe. I got them in somewhere safe before midnight, but it was touch
and go sometimes.

All our schooling here was town school. /Some teachers were excellent
teachers, and we learned. Some were bad, and we taught them. No one interfered with
our upbringing, which, from the looks of the education system as it is now,
it's just as well.

We went on, some of the boys in the Service, the Sarge would fill in the
tests for those who never learned to read by then. Some took SAT's and got
scholarships or worked their ways through college.

This is long, and I apologize. Not everything should get laid on the parents.
Not everything should get laid on the teachers. You are who and what you are,
and will make something out of yourself, or not. Truly, it's up to you. Jan,
the Alleycat

Lois Ruben Aronow on fri 2 jan 04

Thank you Jan, for your most articulate post. =20

Like everything else in life, your milage may vary. Some people home
school. Some public. Some private. Some parochial. It's all
correct. And it's all wrong. And whatever your opinion, it's like
clay (and life) - whatever works for you. I've had enough therapy to
know it's not my parents fault and enough sense not to blame my
teachers (thank you, Mr. Boyd, wherever you are). There are so many
forces and influences that shape one's life. Where you grew up. How
you grew up. Who your friends are. Your life experiences. Little
incidents that touched you. Big events that forever changed you.
There is no one thing that makes you a complete person. =20

I can't tell you what works. I can only tell you what works for me.
We are active in our parenting, yet we are still human. It was one
teacher who told us our son might need some occupational therapy for
fine motor skills. We only saw his work at home - looked fine to us.
Shown in a group of 18 other 6 year olds, indeed, his handwriting was
well behind the others, even though he's been reading - fluently -
since he was 3 and has a vocabulary that surpasses most adults, both
in words and ability to use it. Skip counting for years and able to
multiply. All we saw was smart.

We have loads of friends with kids. We have a nephew who is severely
autistic, and are always on the lookout for developmental and social
milestones. But had we been homeschooling, I doubt we would have
caught this, or caught it much later on in his life, when it would be
more difficult to correct. Turns out the "problems" are relatively
minor, with a minimal amount of OT to correct them. Turns out the
Board of Ed will pay for this therapy, as it is an educational thing.
Our tax dollars at work. We have a list of things to do at home,
which is fun for us all, and provides us with some new things to do as
a family.

No soapbox for me today - just my 2 cents worth.

Happy and healthy new years to all.=20

who has a much harder time playing "Operation" than she remembers as a

Lois Ruben Aronow
Modern Porcelain and Tableware