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again, copper! -- kelly's soapbox -- apologies to the group,

updated tue 17 may 05


Kate Johnson on mon 16 may 05


Steve Slatin wrote:
> In this forum -- as in all others -- I would encourage
> people to try to be just a little kinder, and just a
> little more considerate of others' feelings than their
> interlocutor. If we all do this, the heat will die
> down just a little and the civility will increase
> through reinforcement.
> And if other people don't agree with me, so what?
> They don't have to.

LOL, Steve! I love it--and you're right, we DON'T all have to agree. We
are very different people, this Clayart Conglomerate, we are NOT The

I prefer the civil mode, myself--on the big list I run, that's one of the
few rules--thou shalt be civil or thou shalt get thy butt kicked into the
corner till thou cools off a bit and regains control. It's worked well,
and the list has grown from -300 to 1800+ since I've run it.

Some think I'm the Enemy of Free Speech, but free speech doesn't mean the
right to say whatever you bloody well please, not really--otherwise it would
be fine to yell FIRE in a crowded theatre. I just expect people to find
a way to state their views--and disagreements--in a civil manner.

Other people prefer a good knock-down, drag-out whoop-and-holler
clear-the-air argument! That's their prerogative (except on my list.)
As I've said here before, we all come from different experiences and
upbringings. We have differing personalities.

I was taken by Kelly's description of her family's fights/discussions.
Yell, holler, disagree, then grin and go out and watch the fireflies! That
was great.

Didn't work that way at my house. I'm not much given to personal disclosure
in a public forum, but dealing with a violent drunk tends to make one speak
softly and try not to make waves, lest one get smacked, or worse.
(That's rueful grin...) Not fear, but experience and
self-preservation...but I'll BET that's why I hate screaming fights, here or
anyplace else.

I think it gets in the way of communication, as well (for me anyway.
When things get hot, instead of enjoying the entertainment, as someone said,
I tend to burn up the big Delete button--I don't need that stuff...)

But ya know? That's just me. I don't expect others to have come to the
table with the same set of experiences. We all choose the way that works
best for us, and we all have a place here. And we are never, EVER, going to
make everyone else fit our mold, and why should they? What a boring world
it would be.

And yep, I probably miss some great stuff by deleting, when things get
heated. My loss. Boo hoo.

Now what I DON'T do, on my bit list or ANY of the other 7 lists I run, is
moderate posts. I like to think my members are grownups, for the most part,
till they prove otherwise, anyway. There too, we have a wide range of
personalities and ways of expressing ourselves, and I prefer the model of
TREATING them like grownups, and letting them speak.

When Clayart finally gets the new system up and running, and a decent spam
filter, maybe we can do that here too...(yes, that's _my_ Pet Peeve, stated

Kate Johnson

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