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women/men influences - time capsule and rant

updated sat 11 jun 05

 

claybair on fri 10 jun 05


I'll be 60 this year. This thread on influential men and women made
me take a look at the subject.
First I am not a feminist but fiercely defend women's rights.
Now I'm looking back on almost 60 years... I lived
and experienced a lot of the religious, sexist, political prejudices
each decade threw at my generation.
Also I took a look back at who were my influences.
Maternal grandparents...... Grandmother was the strongest woman
I have ever known. An immigrant to the USA, a fabulous cook, ran a farm,
household, boarding house, could sew anything just by looking at it, a hard
bargainer and no one could pull the wool over her eyes. She was kind,
loving, gentle and fiercely protective of her family.
Grandfather came to the USA penniless at 14. He was a barber who would give
the shirt off his back to someone in need. He was highly intelligent and
well read spoke multiple languages though he had never gotten a formal
education. He could intelligently debate on any subject. He recycled
everything...
I recall watching him straighten out rusty nails for reuse and walk home
carrying cinderblocks wrapped in paper and twine. He lent so much money to
his friends who were wiped out by the 29' Depression that the banker came to
tell my grandmother that they were about to lose everything..... She pulled
them out of it!
I sat between them when I was 3 or 4 in my grandfather's car which smelled
of oil and gas as we droved to their house for a sleep over and I said, "I'm
sitting between my 2 hearts!" That statement was so true.....I can still
heat the ticking of their wind up hall clock and design of the wall paper as
I lay in their big bed.
My parents....mother a vibrant, intelligent women and talented pianist gave
up career for what she wanted more..... to have a family. Father went to
work at 6am and came home at 6pm fixed anything that was in disrepair ...
grandmother always said he had "Golden hands".
I never wanted for anything. One time my mother asked me what was the best
holiday gift I received from them. I told her it was a xmas stocking filled
with tiny plastic toys. She was aghast.... she said, " That was the poorest
we had ever been and all they could afford was a cheap plastic stocking from
Woolworths!"
I spent countless hours under the baby grand piano listening to mom play, an
equal number of hours under the kitchen table watching, then participating
with my mom and grandmother prepare fabulous dishes and even more hours with
my dad watching and helping him fix whatever was in need of repair, develop
film in his darkroom.
So who were my influences???
They all were...... each of my strengths came from them. I cannot blame my
failings on them though... I must take credit for those!
So get over it........ women are very powerful just not as boastful about it
but everyone knows instinctually they are equal. It's the BIG lie no one
ever acknowledges! The men/women that are boastful are the ones who have to
prove it to themselves and are not powerful.... which is where politics
usually enters the scene!

I hath spoke!

Gayle Bair
Bainbridge Island, WA
Tucson, AZ
http://claybair.com
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Peter Cunicelli on fri 10 jun 05


>So get over it........ women are very powerful just not as boastful about
it
>but everyone knows instinctually they are equal. It's the BIG lie no one
>ever acknowledges! The men/women that are boastful are the ones who have
to
>prove it to themselves and are not powerful.... which is where politics
>usually enters the scene!
>
>I hath spoke!
>

Gayle,

Although, for the most part I would agree with you, but Elizabeth's first
post that sparked all this made me feel like I have to defend myself.
There were many generalizations that spoke of all men. I'm not all men.
So, I feel that I need to speak up.

And no, not all women are humble about their power or their knowledge.
Perhaps some women you or I may know. But, I can name at least one women
who has to impart her knowledge every minute of the day. Everything is a
display of her knowledge. Does that make her masculine?

Sweeping generalizations aside, of all the teachers I've had so far, I can
honestly say that there is not one particular sex who did better. I
walked away with something different from each of them.

Peter (www.petercunicelli.com)