Leland Hall on thu 3 nov 05
don't read this if you need only "politicaly correct"
Greetings
Sometimes I try to politicaly correct, sometimes I don't. I'm not feeling
much like caring this morning.
Sometimes I'm fairly good with language, sometmes I can't understand what
people are trying to say with the written word, and real often, as many of
you know, I butcher our beloved english. Sorry, but it is what it is.
For example, when CERF said (and I paraphrase to some degree) "because of
your limited production, we are qualifying you for a $2500 interest free
loan, instead of $8000", I wondered what they meant by limited production?
I had tried to explain to them that for someone like me with a broken neck,
the $700 a month average income I made with pottery took ALL my time, ALL
my breath, ALL my soul. And that living on Judys income and $500 bucks
disability was out of the question, we would fail. And rebuilding with
what was left was not possible. "Limited production". Hmmm.
And when they said, "We hope your not disapointed," I figured I needed to
try to read between the lines, cause that couldn't be taken literaly,
right? What did that really mean? I thought, well, maaaaaybe it meant "we
know you must be disapointed, but it's the best we can do, what with
Katrina wiping out New Orleans right on the heels of your fire". Yea, that
was it, I thought. I don't know why they just didn't come out and say so.
I mean, come on, "We hope your not disapointed". YA THINK MAYBE I MIGHT
BE?!! Or maybe it meant, "Of course your disapointed, but we all know
you'd sound like a monster if you said anything about it, considering how
many folks were left homeless from Katrina and you'r not homeless". Maybe
that was it. But I'm guessing. Hey, I know. How about just getting behind
with the property taxes? Maybe miss few credit card payments, like with
Home Depot, then they'd start those exhorbitant penalty fees, everything
would eventually get impossible, and after three years of being behind on
the taxes they auction off your home? Then we'd be homeless. Then---------
-------
Judy's hours at her office manager job were cut in half yesterday. Full
time to 20 hours a week. Might be temporary. Might not. Property taxes
came in a week ago. Electric service to the Studio is going to be around
3500 bucks.
And when they said "maybe we can broker you a deal for a kiln with one of
the manufactures or suppliers", I hoped for a kiln. Expected? I'm not so
daring. But hoped. Wished. Then felt guilty for wishing. Wondered if I
was worthy. A kiln would put us back on our feet, sort of. Barely. Sure,
at 51 I'd be 15 years behind. High interest credit card debt for new
windows, doors and other stuff. Hey, we did the best we could with the
generous clayart donations, but remember, we had like at least 25000 of
damage. Doing the work myself pared it way down. But it's bad. So what
does "Broker a deal" mean? I don't really know. But with a kiln, I'd be
back to work when the electric is in, which will happen in two weeks.
(conduit is in all ditches, construction fee to the Electric Co-op is paid,
new meter base is on site and ready, just waiting for our electrition to
finish some jobs he had slated ahead of us)
And what does it mean when CERF says, like they did yesterday, "If there is
another supplier you would like us to contact, let us know." "They have
usually been very responsive, but they are not responding to our e-mails or
phone messages. "We're sorry we haven't done better for you." "We would
understand if you have no confidence in obtaining any results at this point
though."
That came yesterday, as did the news that Judys hours were cut. What the
hell does THAT mean? Or maybe I know. But again, I'm guessing.
So there it is. I'm a monster for feeling sorry for myself. That's how I
feel. I've tried to be strong, I've worked my ass off for months, but I'm
fallin' down now. And this morning I feel like I can't get up. Ive got
the Mid State Electric Co-op inspector coming this morning to inspect the
ditch and conduit for the new service entry. (A friend with a back-hoe
gave me a great deal.) So I'll at least "get up" for him. Yea, I'll keep
getting up. But I swear, I'm starting to wonder why. Clay. Oh yea, I
remember. Clay.
So anybody got a free kiln? I probably need at least 10 cubic feet, or
thereabouts. Free? Am I nuts? Ok, how about real cheap. I've got
plastic for gas, and will come get it anywhere in Oregon. If I can get up
again that is. It's getting harder every day.
Leland (feeling like a monster) Hall
La Pine, Oregon
USA
Janna Marcilla on thu 3 nov 05
don't read this if you need only "politicaly correct"
I sent you an off list email about the kiln.
Sincerely, Janna Marcilla
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